Om.

“The whole purpose of meditation in the East is to bring about such a state of mind – that is, to control thought, which is the same as constantly repeating a prayer to quieten the mind and in that state hoping to understand one’s problems.”

But that my friend is to dull the mind not to silence it.

As the world becomes bleaker by the day and new problems arise every minute or so, we humans look for peace. We try to create peace by many ways including by force and if we cannot obtain peace outside ourselves then we look for inner peace, peace within ourselves, a peaceful mind. This search for silence, for peace within our selves has led to a new trend, meditation. This is why Yoga as one of the forms of meditation has become an increasingly popular choice for people who are in search for inner peace or perhaps for people who are in search for just mere silence of the mind.

Yet, true meditation in search of a peaceful mind can be obtained everyday, every minute, and every second without the need to chant a certain prayer or conduct a certain move. The repetition of these prayers or these moves is mere self-hypnosis. Yes, of course by repetition our mind will become quite, silent, gentle and soft but all you have done is to actually dull your mind and close your mind towards the beauty of the world that will in fact create peace within us. We are merely concentrating towards a certain something. As J. Krishnamurti has said, “meditation is not concentration.” Concentration forces your mind to concentrate towards something that we sometimes do not want to concentrate on, this in the end does not create peace but in fact creates conflict within our selves. How can we force a mind to concentrate when it easily wanders to everything around us? How can we force a mind to concentrate when it easily wanders towards something that interests us? Meditation that enforces concentration will only create a conflicting mind and how can we have peace when our mind is conflict? Meditation that enforces concentration means to control the mind and when we try to control an uncontrollable mind all we have done is to imprison it.
Thus what is meditation?

Meditation is simple, meditation is observing the whole with complete attention.

Do not confuse this with concentration; attention does not require control of the mind. Attention is letting your mind free to observe everything around you as a whole. Not to focus and control your mind towards a certain object. What I mean to be attentive towards the whole means to be aware of every thought and every feeling.

So meditation can take place anywhere and anytime such as while sitting under a tree looking at the rays of the sun shimmering through the leaves or feeling the wind breezing gently through you skin or even perhaps while sitting on bus.

No one can teach you to be attentive. This is something you must learn by yourself. Only you yourself can understand what being attentive is. In the end when you are able to be attentive then you have understood meditation, this discovery of your personal attentive will also lead to peace. By understanding this then you will find meditation that creates peace but does not dull the mind. There are no chants, no movements, no repetitions. Your mind is at peace and a peaceful mind is a mind capable of great love.

And in love there is ultimate truth or what we commonly know as God.

And to achieve this we must be in peace not in pieces.

attentive towards the whole

to hate

Last week for me, was a week of hate, a week of constant anger. No, it was not me, but someone very close to me. I couldn’t blame him/her though it was after all my fault. I just held on as long as i could before insanity gets hold of my mind. But, i am no stranger to hate, i have hated, i have been hated and have learned much from hate. And what I have learned form hate is what i wish to share to you.

I see hate as constant anger, an emotion that consumes you , blinds you of everything and makes your world(and perhaps others, but not always the person/thing you hate) a living nightmare. Of course everyone has seem to have felt anger but to feel hate, to feel that hate in your heart are only for those who choosen to do so. Hate is able to grow and prosper only if you do not let go of that hate.

As I have said before, I am no stranger to hate. I am almost 23 and in my 23 years living in this world i have seen hate consume my closest people. I know what hate will do to people if not dealt with. It is for me, rather odd to see people to choose to hold on to that hate, rather than let got of it. The problem of hate itself is that when you hate the person that suffers the most is you yourself. The person you hate either doesn’t know or just doesn’t care. I have found that people who choose to hold on to that hate are actually those who seek for revenge. Yes, revenge is satisfying, i know the feeling, the rush of adrenalin that puts a smile on your face while doing it, but it is only satisfying momentarily. It will not properly heal the wounds that has been created.

I understand, to talk of letting go that hate is easier said than done. But i have learned to do that, i am still able to feel anger but to take that anger and fill your mind and heart with that anger and letting it evolve into hate is something i am no longer able to do. Because in my mind i am constantly aware to hate is to suffer and i have suffered enough. And that is why i adore love, for it can bring happiness and peace. All of us ask the grand question, “when will there be peace in this world?” and i tell them, to find peace in the world, we must first find peace in ourselves. I am not at all a religious individual, but i have a thirst for knowledge which includes the knowledge and wisdom of our Gods and prophets and all of their teachings. They all have a common similarity, to spread love and thus bring peace to this world.

When we talk of love, our society tends to look down upon it and scold it for being to abstract  and irrelevant towards solving the worlds problems. Most of us see love no more than an emotion between two or more individuals, though this is not wrong. Love is too vast to be toned down to such a minor thing. This is because our society has forgotten to teach of love. Love as the basis for peace. Our religions, where its core teachings are actually about love, focuses too much on technical matters than of love itself. Our religions reminds us of this but we do not listen.

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am become as sounding brass or a clanging gong. And if i have the gift of prophecy and know all knowledge and if i have all faith, so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”

1 Corinthians 13 : 1-2

“And we have not sent you (O Muhammad) except as an act of love (rahmah) to all the worlds”

Al-Qur’an 21:107

other religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism are just littered with universal love. especially Buddhism.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”

Siddharta Gautama

“vasudhaiva kutumbakam, the world is a family”

Hinduism

these are only very minor examples of the universal love that are taught in the religions, so if the religious teachings emphasizes on love. why do we dwell too much on technical matters?

the fundamentals

*this post is actually a reply comment posted on of my best friend’s blog, Andika. of course with some minor modifications. just trying to share my opinions towards this matter.*

it really worries me to see that fundamentalism is growing steadily in Indonesia. i have spoken to many people concerning this matter, from my lecturers to some politicians and also to social-cultural specialists, and they seem to have the same voice, fundamentalism will not take over Indonesia and turn Indonesia into a Islamic state or in other words the implementation of Syariah Islam. They keep convincing me that our future, although uncertain, will certainly not be an Islamic state.

but, it’s rather hard for me to believe in such a thing. yes, i understand that many will certainly object if Indonesia does indeed become an Islamic state such as the minority groups, the armed forces and the nationalistic-pluralist groups. nevertheless we can not deny the fact that fundamentalism has planted itself deeply in many universities in Indonesia such as Institut Pertanian Bogor(IPB). Even some high schools have been somewhat effected with fundamentalism.

it is rather sad to see this unsettling circumstance. it is more saddening to see that fundamentalists care more about their brothers and sisters who are thousands of miles away then their “real” brothers and sisters in their very own country. nationalism seems to subdued by fundamentalism and this can clearly be seen almost everywhere and anywhere.

i was quite upset when i saw KAMMI(Kesatuan Aksi Mahasiswa Muslim Indonesia) protesting to the local government concerning the Israel-Palestine conflict while reciting verses from the Holy Quran and shouting “Save our Muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine!”.  they seem to care more about the Palestinians than the Papuans who were struck by an earthquake just recently. this led me to an unpleasant question, am i not your brother/sister if i am not a Muslim? perhaps this question is rather racist but the current conditions has led me to consider this. What upset me even more was the

how about saving Indonesia first?

jackets they were wearing, on the back of the jacket was embroidered,  “SAVE OUR PALESTINE!” OUR PALESTINE? what about OUR INDONESIA? rather depressing isn’t it?

the government and us, really needs to address this problem quickly, perhaps Indonesia won’t be a Islamic state in the near future. However there is always a possibility of becoming one if this nonsense is allowed to cultivate and spread. and please do remember that fundamentalism spreads quite easily in 3rd world countries such as ours. the government should tackle this problem by reforming its education system, it should emphasize on morality not religion. to tell you the truth, I do not really believe that Indonesians are ready for these imported religions. we lack the moral prerequisites needed for a healthy religious environment.

fundamentalism is the result of a morally undereducated individual embracing religion as the way to satisfy his or her spiritual needs because of the lack of his or hers physical needs.

to minimize fundamentalism is not as complex as many have said. we just need an effective education system that emphasizes itself on moral values rather than religion. because when we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a dogma, we become automatons. we cease to grow. let us not become of that. let us grow, let us be strong, let us be just and let us become the Indonesia our forefathers wanted us to be.

“Kami menggoyangkan langit, menggempakan darat, dan menggelorakan samudera agar tidak jadi bangsa yang hidup hanya dari 2 ½ sen sehari. Bangsa yang kerja keras, bukan bangsa tempe, bukan bangsa kuli. Bangsa yang rela menderita demi pembelian cita-cita”

Ir. Soekarno.

manusia beragama mencintai alamnya

Tanyakanlah kepada teman-teman saya, betapa besarnya cinta saya akan lingkungan, dan anda mungkin akan mendapatkan jawaban yang beragam dan berbau “hijau”. Bahkan saya pun pernah dipanggil oleh salah satu teman saya seorang “tree hugger”, dan saya bangga akan hal itu.

Namun, betapa besarnya cinta saya akan lingkungan, saya pun tak ingin menutup mata akan kemungkinan semua negara di seluruh dunia untuk tidak lagi menggunakan minyak  atau akan kemungkinan semua negara untuk memberikan seluruh sumber daya negaranya dan difokuskan terhadap penghentian fenomena pemanasan global. Tak bermaksud untuk sombong, akan tetapi sebagai seorang mahasiswa yang fokus perkuliahannya ada di bidang Hubungan Internasional, maka saya cukup paham mengenai apa yang terjadi di dunia internasional (percayalah betapa busuknya dunia dan manusia yang hidup di dalamnya!) dan dari hal-hal tersebut saya dapat menarik kesimpulan bahwa pemanasan global tak dapat dihentikan(paling tidak untuk saat ini), bukan karena negara-negara tak ingin (kecuali AS, Cina dan beberapa negara besar lainnya) namun karena sebagian besar negara di dunia tak mampu untuk mengerahkan segenap kekuatannya untuk menghentikan fenomena tersebut.

Seoptimisnya anda bahwa pemanasan global dapat dihentikan dengan berbagai cara yang sekarang tengah diusahakan semua orang(kecuali para orang bodoh dan munafik di pemerintahan George W. Bush), kita pertama harus paham terlebih dahulu bahwa masalah lingkungan(pemanasan global, pelestarian sumber daya alam, pelestarian hutan dll) merupakan masalah keseimbangan antara ekonomi dan ekologi. Akan tetapi kita harus sadar bahwa mencari keseimbangan antara ekonomi dan ekologi, sudah seperti menanyakan siapakah itu Tuhan? Hampir tak mungkin. Terutama di negara-negara dunia ketiga seperti kita. We just don’t have the resources to thoroughly fight global warming. Walaupun ada beberapa negara yang telah berhasil melakukan hal tersebut(Costa Rica), tapi kita pun harus melihat siapa negara itu? sebesar apa negara itu? dan yang paling penting, hal apa yang menjalankan perekonomiannya?

Tak bermaksud untuk pesimis namun merupakan suatu hal yang sangat munafik jika kita masih meyakinkan diri kita bahwa pemanasan global dapat dihentikan saat ini. Namun bukan berarti kita tak dapat memperlambat datangnya kiamat dunia dan ironisnya, kiamat dunia yang telah ditulis oleh tangan ilahi pada buku-buku suci beragam agama bukan disebabkan oleh kekuatan ilahi yang datang pada hari penghakiman terakhir namun disebabkan oleh kelalaian diri kita dalam mengurus diri kita sendiri.

Masalah lingkungan adalah masalah moralitas. Jika anda ingin kita dapat memperlambat kehancuran dunia harus ada kesadaran dari diri kita sendiri,sudah saatnya kita sadar akan pentingnya lingkungan dan mengambil tindakan.

Kita, itu berarti anda dan saya. bukan hanya pemerintah. bukan hanya NGO’s, IGO’s dll, bukan hanya mereka yang berkepentingan. namun kita. sebagai manusia yang tinggal di bumi ini, menghirup udara ini dan makan dan minum dari tanah ini. kita semua memiliki andil dalam keselamatan diri kita.

jika anda memang manusia yang beragama, peliharalah apa yang telah diberikan oleh Tuhanmu itu.

Chupe mantequilla de mi culo – Suck butter from my ass

Dad just called

“Takut akan Allah adalah sumber pengetahuan akan segala-galanya.”

- My Dad, who calls me everyday just to ask me if i go to church or not.

thank you but sorry Dad.

Day 4 – as i thought of the heavens

I have been thinking about this for quite some time now.

If you believe in the concept of heaven or hell then ask yourself this question.

Let’s take an example, there are two people. Person A loves to go to church, mosque or other religious places. Loves to do anything for the church, mosque, etc. Loves to pray for himself, family, friends and the world, he/she is basically nice to people. but that is it. Then there is person B who does not even believe in God, hence he or she never goes to religious places nor pray. But he or she helps those in need, goes out into the street and gives out food for the poor, teaches for free at public schools, plants trees and so on. he or she basically does everything he or she can for those who are in need.

Both of them seem to be doing God’s bidding. But both of them have their flaws. So who, will go to heaven then?

This is what’s basically happening in our world today. Is it better to talk much of God? or to do much for God’s creations?

People do not seem to want to admit this.

adieu.

 

colors seem to fade gurl

Day 3 – as i thought of the difference.

I start this day with a i’m-about-to-throw-up-at-everything kinda feeling. No, it was not because of alcohol, but it seems that my sensitive stomach of mine just can’t seem to handle semi raw chicken(blood and guts included!), which was actually quite good! Nevertheless i had fun yesterday night. Well as you may have known by now, i am never bored when it comes to talking about religion, God, theism and so on. And last night a friend of mine seemed to have a problem concerning these things. Let’s just say my friend’s name is Hendra. He has the usual we can’t be together because we’re different in religion kinda problem. He wants to try but the gal just won’t say yes(been there done that!). 

Since i have been through this, i have analyzed a few simple reasons why they just won’t try.

1. Parents/Family

the love for one’s family will always play a major role in deciding a certain situation that involves a family, in this case religion. since religion matters a lot for most families, then to satisfy the needs of one’s family, he or she must do what the family wishes them to do, even though if that thing they do contradicts with what they want to do. basically, they must choose between the person they love or the love of their family. Hard? yes it is. Very, very hard.

2. Religious selves

in this liberal world, there are still people that embraces their beliefs and when you happen to fall in love with a person like this and that person has a different religion than yours, i say to you, go home, cry and find another one. when a person embraces a certain religion, they conduct their religion not because they are told to do so but they conduct their religion with their heart, mind and body. they embrace it wholly or in idiotic terms they can’t be with someone with a different religion because their religion will not allow such a thing and since they embrace and believe in that. Then no matter what you do, expect “no!(emphasize on the exclamation mark)” to be the final answer.

3. Tradition

and this is where most people are. and this also seems to be the reason why i wont convert to another religion even though i don’t even fully believe in my religion anymore. When you grow up in environment with Christmas, Santa, presents and so on. You will eventually learn to love it not the religion but the things that comes with the religion, the traditions. And some people will want to celebrate the traditions they love such as Christmas with someone that loves and understands Christmas too. This goes the same way with Islam and its Ramadhan or Hindu with its Nyepi and so on.

There are other variants of why people of different religions can not be together, but these three are basically the main reasons for it. But as long as you have the will and guts(atau dalam bahasa Indonesianya “selama bendera kuning belum berkibar!”), then go ahead and try! But please do remember the consequences that is why i said guts is needed in doing such a thing.

 

and that my fellow friends was day 3 which i wrote on day 4 due to extreme tire. 

and i am still fighting the urge.

 

a perfect rainy day indeed

Day 2 and Day 3 (morning) – as i thought of life.

Hola Amigo!

I was going to write again last night, but since i did not even have the energy to change my clothes(but i did even though barely!) i decided to write about Day 2 and a bit of Day 3 today.

Yesterday was not hard to fight the urge. I woke up early to attend an UN simulation for the freshmens. being a senior i really wanted to see their diplomatic debating skills. which was actually quite good. from 6 to 6 i was at my campus. tired yet happy. then it rained. this exquisite city of mine has been raining for a couple of days, which is great because as i have said to many of you, i love rain. not just like but love. I just love that feeling when the water drops on my forehead and it rolls down to my face. after eating dinner with my ex, i walked my ex to her friends boarding house. no we did not have a romantic run through the rain. because when it rains my mind starts to think of rather unordinary things.

and yesterday, my mind thought of life, my life.

long ago i spoke to a buddhist monk. i was still in high school i think. we talked of religion, the teachings of Budha, we talked of kindness and love, we talked of nature, we talked of life itself and last we talked of what made the world go round.

then he gave me a book, an amazing little book. I still remember its first page.

This is my simple religion,

there is no need for temples,

no need for complicated philosophies,

my brain and my heart are my temples,

my philosophy is kindness.

Simple yet amazing, is it not?

kindness and love. thinking about this has lead me to think my purpose in life.

i have asked my friends of what they wish to be in the future, many wanted money, which is actually good because we have to be realistic and see that this world needs money in order to survive, the problem is people then see money as the main goal,as the main objective when that happens they have corrupted their selves. then there are people who wanted fame, who wants others just to simply know them. basically they want to be popular. why? i have no idea. so you’re popular and rich. so what? i feel utterly sorry for these types of people. Next there are the people with idealistic views. Let’s take an example, i have two good friends. Ryan and Marendra. Ryan wants to help Indonesia from the outside by being a diplomat and Marendra wants to help Indonesia from the inside by working in the government. Will they become the things they want to be only God knows.

But the point is, they have this idealistic view towards life. They want to help people by doing the things they love.

so i asked to myself is that what life is about? to help others. to learn to give not to receive. yes, i know, to say these things are easy. but to do. that is always hard. nevertheless i can’t help wonder if this is the purpose of life, then  why have people done so little? including me perhaps. we talk much of helping those in need but have done little.

where is the kindness and love that religion has taught us?

amor patitur moras.

Day 1 (Afternoon)

Hello you!

Actually nothing has changed, for the moment, i’m still fighting this urge to log in into everything i can log in into. haha. But other than that em..nothing i guess.

well today was actually quite nice. one my friends just graduated and he asked me to take photos of him, his friends and his family. And yes i did get paid! woohoo! ah yes..one other thing, my eye itches like hell!(bintitan!) so taking photos while scratching my eye every few seconds has been quite a challenge.

what else..hem..well i’m currently reading a book called Modern Man in Search for a Soul by Carl Gustav Jung. A unique book one might say. it discusses the spiritual problem of a modern man. since i seem to be modern man i guess i’m having this problem as well. and here i go again. yes i do have a problem with religion. not with God though. Seeing things work in nature has made me a believer towards God. but when it comes to religion, that my friend is a whole different case. one simple example, if God made these religions it would truly idiotic of Him if he made rules who can marry who. Hey i’m a Catholic and i can’t marry a Muslim! have you ever asked yourself why? we worship the same God but because we worship Him differently i can’t marry someone who is different in belief?

How narrow minded our God is! But of course we can’t blame this on God for it was not him who made these illogical rules. it was us.

Have you ever asked yourself why? such silly rules. For you Christians, did Jesus Christ really told his disciples not to marry another who does not believe in his teachings? Did he not teach us that love is above everything? oh well..that question, my friends, i leave unanswered.

Read more i will.

A semi-perfect day it has been.

Dominus dedit, Dominus abstulit.

The Lord gives, The Lord takes.

and thus they call me a bad man

finished.

10 days. 10 days of hell. hyperbole? on the contrary, 10 days being the committee of the International Summer School 2008(thank you Germany for funding this program!) has taught me much about hard work, responsibilities , time management and so on. seems quite an interesting experience to be told and retold for generations to come(now that’s what i call hyperbole!).

but no, this little story of mine will definitely be not about my experience(but it is somewhat related) in this committee. What for if i may ask? a much more interesting story shall be told and must be told.

and that story is of me and my God, or perhaps of me and my religion.

i am a Catholic, love being one. I love Christmas. love those gifts i get every year. love the songs people sing at church. love their teachings concerning love and forgiveness. but yet, although my love towards Catholicism is rather high, i seldom go to church. Seldom meaning i go to church perhaps at Christmas, Easter and maybe some other special occasions which forces me to go to church. Other than that i spend most of my Sunday’s just doing what i please, either it be writing this not so inspiring blog of mine, or read a book or two.

well last week while being the committee and working in hell, i had little time to rest and when i did, i usually grabbed a cup of tea and went outside into the warm sun. all went well, until one day. i met a friend , an old friend, who loved God and Jesus and all those angelical, holy things.

we started our conversation with the usual, ‘hey, how are you doing?’ ‘where are you going?’ and so on.and then a question arose. a question of the divine. the divine and me. God and me.

religion and me.

i never really liked talking about religion, i see religion as something personal which no one else needs to know. why do you need to know what i do with my religion? i see it as discriminatory. but perhaps not all people see what i see.

actually it was ok at first. we talked about God, christianity, Christmas, Easter, other religions but then when he asked me about how often i go to church and i answered about 5 times a year, he looked deeply surprised and upset. from that very second i knew this conversation was about to heat up.

You wont go to heaven if you don’t go to church Ben, Satan will punish you and you will be forever in hell.

yes, translated into English from Indonesia those above words are exactly what i remember him saying.

forever in hell.

Sad.

My morality, my worthiness of me being able to go to heaven or not is judged by me going to church or not.

that is just plain sad, my dear readers.

going to church (or other religious places) or not does not make you a good or bad man. you can not say he is bad or even evil because has not gone to church. that is pure hypocrite.

i do not kill, i do not steal, i do not get into fights, i don’t even smoke. but yes i do not go to church as often as i should. but does that make a bad man? unworthy of not going to heaven?

is my morallity judged by the counts of how much i go to church?

why must it be like that? i know i am not perfect, i have my faults, so does everybody.

but who are you to say that i will go to hell, because i have failed to do one of the duties of christianity?

sad but true.

wise people are hard to find these days. i pitty them.

i have said this once and i shall say it again:

“yang saya butuhkan adalah seorang yang bermoral bukan beragama. karena yang bergama belum tentu bermoral. Jujur, saya jauh lebih menghormati seorang agnostis ataupun  seorang atheis. mengapa? karena mereka tidak melakukan sebuah kejahatan,  bukan karena mereka takut akan Tuhan namun karena mereka mengerti bahwa hal tersebut memang salah dan mereka mengerti bahwa mereka tidak ingin diberlakukan sedemikian rupa oleh orang lain.”

mala fide – dengan itikad jahat